2016 m. liepos 3 d., sekmadienis

Saudade. Concert. Blank. Dawson Creek.


This is crazy. Never felt like that. Happy because of the little: - what are you doing?
p.s. I hope nobody will find this. Because the second dragon said: - No.
I lost all symbols because of that. I lost my peaceful sleep stories. I just want to write everything as it is. Fact to fact.
But this makes me believe the destiny again. My beliefs were lost. I am alive. This is agony. I am alive. I am online 24/7. My destiny was around 3000km away and now just 100km. It was working before so how it is possible that it is not working now.
"Pushing away is not the same as letting go". I am stupid, I have faith.

It is enough for me to know that I love you.

2016 m. gegužės 24 d., antradienis

Headphones. Miss ya. Jan28/Jan29.

This is the day. 2016 May 24/25. The day. Aquarius was hurt for the first time in her life. Life is funny, huh? Aquarius was hurt by Aquarius. They have never slept together. They have never been on a date. They have never known each other. But she feels like she died. She always feels taller. Because she is. She always feels older and smarter. Because she is. This time she was one day younger, one cm smaller and one day less reading was done in her life. Minutes are going and every minute that past she can not grow more than, can not learn more than, can not feel less inlove. Karma you say. As all Aquarius says"You are what you eat." Her EGO was hurt. But she still feels pretty while crying. The love that she gathered over all those 27 years for every man she met, every creature that made her feel something is gone. White canvas again. She feels clean.

She will keep one thing. Poem.

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us, we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

2012 m. liepos 30 d., pirmadienis

Permanent. Ocean blue. Stick and stones. Puzzle for birthday.

I blame you " Pig who wanted to be eaten" to put me in this position to show the pink elephant in the room. The elephant looks like an orange bird when you press it become so huge that destroys everything around. And what about my unicorn in this position? Is he it? Or just the horse that starts the story and when you asked a girl: " How the horse looks like? " She says: " It is a unicorn". How you should react.

"Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses."

The little one wants to be called like that. Wants a candy now and the brown pot with a food left waiting in the kitchen. But Mrs. Drama can not get the little one that. It needs to take out freedom, to leave chaos. To give no mercy, just nightmares that little one can be caught on the corner.

Alone at 3 at night? Non. I have me. I understand me. I understand my wish. I understand my thoughts. I understand my body. My mind. My heart. My belly. My butterflies. My eyes. My flesh. Egoist-individualist.


2012 m. liepos 28 d., šeštadienis

She said. Lion. Somebody else. Let me know you. Little bird whispered to me. Furious. Spectrum.

Have you ever made a lie that made you make one more? Your soul was feeling so weak, but adrenaline was going in to your brain saying to move more, to do more, to be real you more. The bad you.

To spend everything you have, that you build after the years. It makes the house. It should


Spoke about how time is passing fast and thinking how i am little to be able to handle the pressure to stand tall. The heat hits the brain, when the degress comes and hits more. When one thing is left to sit at balcony and wait until after half an hour you have to pretend in the mood.

- Girls have needs too. - But there is a reason you are called ladies.


"No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions."

2012 m. liepos 19 d., ketvirtadienis

Yummy. Blackberries. Fluffy and dirt. Mother tongue.

Always was thinking that opposite attracts and it is still true, but it feels so comfortable when there is something in common. Not speaking about liking the same music, food, movies, we are not those children. We are little flirt kids who goes to the same place, pass by in same space, giving the pen to a hand and moment literally stops, you start to shiver like a ghost just went through you, brrr.

Pretender.

Started running again. Some put there anger by shouting on others, i punish myself. I have been very bad girl. Faster and faster, then can not walk for few days, but my sins are forgiven.

"True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment."

The pleasure is a process, but if it is endless, the result is forbiden fruit, what does it mean?

2012 m. balandžio 10 d., antradienis

Curls. Nudes. Gives me more. Share. Good deeds.




You own my mind. Noone in the can compare.. My old now not existing radio show have me romantic alone time. Past few weeks thinking about my favourite condition- loneliness. Like now, not quite lonely, numbers occupied bed, table, cieling and getting into coffee cup, but non non little ones, no coffee not even for me this night.

"It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living."

I am saying to the world- i'm hurt.

Want big bracelets, a ring, long massive neclaces and hide under my big hat, puffy skirts and lace. Like a fashion therapy. And collars, lots of them to hide neck from marks, to hide throat that nobody can bite it.

It's pile of books makes me philosophical again or missed being dreamy with my colourful butterflies around the moon.

2012 m. vasario 29 d., trečiadienis

Geek glasses fits not all the time. Animal prints. Little roses.


"An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it."

Does it make you move, give you inspiration, motivation the one that you find here today? You will ask what is that IT and i have no answer. Because you have it in you. sometimes passing to me by the song, coffee picture or just saying hi.

J'adore wall photos those give me inspiration, love music it moves me emotionally, like on tuesday almost started to pour tears because HE said it will be over in one month, not totally over, but still, like when HE said that is moving to Brussel, but for real spending more time hanging around and i'm waiting conversation and podcast talks (pillow talk). The most motivation gives me bad books, then start to think what i am doing?? i can be useful, awesome and push things.